Tag Archives: Paris

KMJKLC

Sometimes I think I’m incapable
But then I get this overwhelming
Feeling of
Love
It makes me nauseous
Seeing the pictures
Reminds me I am human
Smiles with friends
Remind me I am wanted
I feel like crying because

I don’t know why

The mask on my face is cracking
Clay is falling into my lap
Mixing into salty love and
Repression
I stuff it down my throat
Clogging it up
Sometimes it must fight back
The tears
Have gone
But my hands are shaking
That music video really got to me
I feel like I am that
Midnight flower
Blooming when nobody sees
It comes in waves
I can’t distinguish the positive
I don’t know why I’m shaking

Just stop

Friends and picnics
Reiterate my inclusion
Big groups still provide
A halt
To happiness
My petals curl into themselves
And I have to go lie down
Stop laughing without me
At least you’re not laughing about me

My loneliness is now on the back pedal of my brain
It cycles incessantly
Like myself
A successful bike journey is when I don’t get knocked down
This stomach pain is mixing with tears
I want to hurt again but
I don’t know why
Maybe it’s to shut off the knolls
It’s 12
The halfway point
Happiness overpowered by guilt has now become the norm
Push off the power –

I can’t afford to think like this

Just stop.

Time-deaf

My skin has become so detached
That
The pelting is not felt-ing
The body that is melting
(ME!)
Wants you to sew me back together again, please
So that the ferociously tepid water can bounce of the surface of her body
And her right arm can be popped back into my socket
BECOME A BLACK HOLE
It’s going MAD!
But we’re all mad here
Have some tea, I’ll feel better
Have (sew me), we’ll all feel better
But in France we drink café
What are you from anyway
Shut up and pop me back, please.
You’re going to regret this Morag
Shut up and drink your tea
Don’t want it to happen again now,
Do I slash We?

Melody

The softly sung notes float through each one of my pores

Filling my blood with sadness

The music makes me remember

I can’t keep my face in its attentive smile

Overcome with a sweet recipe of blossoming and inevitable

Love

Mixing with the healing my body is trying to accomplish

I’m hoping no one notices that

I am not who I say I am

That

I am not

Okay.

Greetings from Paris

Bonjour! So, I live in Paris now, which is excellent. I haven’t been online in a while, been trying to sort my self out, in a sense. I’m studying out here for the next year, so looking forward to my classes starting, and to speaking a bit of French. Much love.

Raindrops

Transparent and opaque 

Wipers batter the newly fallen raindrops against the sliver of mist

With every hit the coursing and pulsating flow gains a new comrade 

And is pushed through the gap 

Into the unknown freedom 

As each one leaps into the slipstream 

To suicide 

Or welcome comfort, 

They don’t know. 

Maybe both. 

 

Eventually the downpour ceases 

Leaving abandoned droplets to 

Meander 

Unsure if the fall is the right move in this game of chess 

Or if they should remain the pawns 

Moving slowly 

Unacknowledged 

Having no purpose, 

But content.